


Just Guys Bein Dudes

by sapphicstarshine



Category: Be More Chill - Iconis/Tracz
Genre: Body Image, Insecurity, M/M, Mutual Pining
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-01-26
Updated: 2018-01-26
Packaged: 2019-03-09 17:31:29
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,861
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/13486344
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/sapphicstarshine/pseuds/sapphicstarshine
Summary: “If I look so fine then why don’t I have a girlfriend, even Brooke said I wasn’t cute and she’s the nice one!”“Because you’re hopelessly awkward and you have crippling anxiety, it has nothing to do with how you look,”





	Just Guys Bein Dudes

**Author's Note:**

> i was rereadin the book and the Appearance Check made me sad someone pls help this boy :'(

“Dude you look fine, I promise,” Michael lounged back on his bed, giving Jeremy a disapproving frown through the mirror.

“If I look so fine then why don’t I have a girlfriend, even Brooke said I wasn’t cute and she’s the nice one!”

“Because you’re hopelessly awkward and you have crippling anxiety, it has nothing to do with how you look,” he huffed and got up to tug his friend away from the mirror, trapping him with a hug, “Besides, Brooke’s a lesbian. I’m telling you as an unbiased authority on cute guys that you are fuckin' cute as shit, my dude,”

Jeremy just whined and buried his face in his friend’s shoulder, “You’re not biased, you’re my best friend, and I’m too scrawny and my skin is gross and my face is all weird and I look like I have a genetic condition,” Michael sighed and rubbed his shoulder comfortingly, having to strain to hear his mumbled, “Wish I looked like you,”

“No you don’t. If you did your brain would just find other shit it didn’t like, it’s got nothing to do with  _ you _ ,” he hated when Jeremy got in these moods. He’d been insecure before, sure, and Michael had tried multiple times to get him to stop with the Appearance Checks, but it had gotten worse since the Squip, and even worse still since Christine broke things off. Not that either of them held that against her, they were both happy she’d found herself, but Jeremy was… kind of a mess at the moment.

Michael kissed his favourite disaster on the forehead, “You’re perfect, Jerebear, don’t be so hard on yourself,” the lanky boy let out a disagreeing whine and curled into his friend. Michael was always warm. Michael felt safe.

“Hey, you remember that time in third grade when I cried that girl called me fat and you spent like an hour hugging me ‘cause you said it didn’t matter if other people didn’t think I was pretty cause you always would and they were, quote, massive weinerheads, unquote?”

“What the- What’s that got to do with anything, have people been bothering you?” he looked up now, a small scowl on his face. Michael’s heart fluttered at the protectiveness, but he brushed it off, laughing, and shook his head

“No, Rich is still surprisingly good asshole protection considering he’s a massive nerd now,” it was probably the muscles. It was definitely the muscles, “Does that still apply?”

“You’re not fat,”

“I am Jeremy, it’s whatever, does it still apply?” he looked like he still wanted to argue but he settled for cuddling up closer and nuzzling into the softer boy’s tummy.

“Of course it does. You’re my best friend,”

“Okay, so that’s that. I think you’re pretty, even if you are being a douche to  _ my _ best friend,” he smirked and stroked his hair.

“You have weird taste,”

“Wow, homophobic much?” 

Jeremy snorted and prodded his side, Michael grinned at him, “You know what I meant, asshole,”

“What can I say? I like my men like I like my coffee,”

“Bitter and unlikable unless someone changes everything about me?” Michael flicked him on the nose, secretly glad he hadn’t actually asked what he meant by that because he wasn’t entirely sure either. Sometimes words just happened.

“Absolutely not. The only thing I’d change about you is how you feel ‘bout yourself,”

Jeremy sighed, “I wish I could just date you,” 

Michael shrugged, “Nothing stopping us,”

Jeremy went quiet for a few moments, fingers curled in the familiar fabric of his friend’s hoodie and head resting on his belly. The room was quiet aside from their soft breathing, it was almost always dark down in the basement, usually the only lights were from Michael’s seventeen thousand lava lamps just waiting to kill him in his sleep or from the TV screen. He thought about that for a while. Sure, he liked Michael, but… did he like him like that? He- didn’t think he’d liked him like he liked Christine, but they were different people, so surely it would feel different liking them, wouldn’t it?

“Um… I was joking about that, we don’t uh- we don’t have to if you don’t. Uh. Yeah, sorry, made it weird,” Michael chuckled nervously, automatically going to take one of Jeremy’s hands to play with his fingers. They were long and thin and graceful and he’d always resorted to stimming with them. Jeremy was used to it by now, switching to doing things one handed by instinct whenever he felt Michael’s fingers reaching for his own.

“No, it’s fine. ...You can do better anyway, as soon as we’re in college you’re gonna find yourself the second hottest boyfriend anyone’s ever had,”

“Only second? At least you’re keeping things realistic,”

“The first is you, ya dingus,” 

Michael’s face flushed and he hid his grin in Jeremy’s hair, snort-giggling, “Jeremyyyy, that’s gay,”

“You’re gay,”

“Absolutely, but if you really think I can do better than someone with eyes as pretty as yours who can put up with all my weird shit for as long as you have, you’re insane,” he pushed Jeremy’s hair back and out the way of his eyes, smiling at him and the blush that was creeping up his cheeks for the brief second he could make eye contact.

“My eyes aren’t pretty, you nerd. Your eyes are pretty,”

“Both our eyes are pretty, if I’m going up I’m bringing you with me,”

“Damn,” he pursed his lips. Michael grinned smugly, “...Okay, but your eyes are really pretty, Micah” the grin faded into a fond smile and he went back to stroking his hair with a quiet thanks.

“...Do you think I’ll ever find someone who likes me like you do?” truthfully, in a dark, selfish corner of Michael’s heart that he would refuse to acknowledge, he hoped no. A much larger part of him would be delighted if he found a nice girl who loved him so completely and thoroughly as Michael did.

“Of course you will. You’re amazing Jeremy, you just gotta get out of high school, nothing that starts there lasts anyway,” he hummed and they lapsed into a comfortable silence, just enjoying each other’s company. They were always touchy-feely like this, they just saw no reason not to be. It came natural to them. Jeremy looked at the two of them in the mirror, watching the soft rise and fall of Michael’s chest and relaxing into the same rhythm. 

His gaze turned back to himself, glancing over his features, listless and detached, “...My Squip said I was ugly. I’ve always thought it before, but like… I dunno, he’s a computer. He couldn’t lie. There’s no real opinion there, he just has the facts, you know? Just statistics. So I’m like... factually, mathematically ugly,”

Michael pulled him closer and gently turned his head away from the stupid thing, glaring at nothing in particular over Jeremy’s head, “Your Squip was full of shit. That thing was an abusive, manipulative piece of shit tictac and everything it said was pure bullshit. Computers can lie Jeremy, you know they can,” he grumbled and rolled them over so Jeremy’s back was to their reflection. Much better, “Besides, computers  _ can’t  _ measure shit like that, it’s all subjective. Everyone likes different things, you feel me? That’s like… a purely human thing, there’s no way that stupid Hell Siri would understand beauty properly,”

“Mmm, I guess,” he sighed and traced patterns onto Michael’s shoulder idly. He tilted his head back to look at him, Michael never seemed to worry about anything like this. He was always so… cool. Properly cool, not abandon your friends and cheat on people cool.

“...Michael?”

“Hm?”

“Do you like yourself?”

“Someone has to, may as well be me,” Michael gently swept that whole ‘wanting to die because the only person who did like him left’ thing under that little mind rug right there. This was about Jeremy, and making Jeremy feel better.

“There’s nothing you don’t like? Like.. not even a weird birthmark or an extra toe or something?”

Michael raised an eyebrow, “If I didn’t know any better I’d almost think you wanted me to hate myself. I can promise you dude if I had an extra toe you would be the first to know about it. I would literally wear nothing but open toes sandals for the rest of my life,” he stroked Jeremy’s cheek, ignoring the slight flinch as his knuckles brushed over permanently flushed acne, “Why does it matter?”

“It- it doesn’t, I guess, but you’ve. Never talked about this stuff. Is it cause we always talk about me or do you just… really not care? Everyone has to care about something like that,”

“Of course I’m insecure about shit, comes with havin’ a brain. I just don’t focus on it,” he bit his lip, hoping the conversation wouldn’t turn to him, “Gotta focus on the things you do like,” granted that was… considerably harder when his depression was acting up, but he usually just got high and zoned out for a few hours so he didn’t bother anyone when that happened.

“What don’t you like then?” Jeremy frowned, he’d honestly be expecting a no. What on earth could  _ Michael _ possibly be insecure about, he was beautiful, he was fun, he was smart, he was kind, he even had more friends now, it just didn’t add up.

Michael shuffled, knowing this was just gonna worry him, “It’s not all the time, just when… you know, brain shit gets to me, but sometimes I wish I was skinnier, which is… really dumb and girly, I know, but, uh… yeah. My teeth sometimes too, but that’s uh. Temporary, they’ll be fine when the braces are off,” Michael was blushing as he absentmindedly traced along Jeremy’s collarbone, worrying his lip. He hated talking about this, it just. Wasn’t him.

“You’re right, that is dumb,” Jeremy nodded matter of factly, wrapping his arms back around his waist, squishing lightly, “You wouldn’t be nearly as comfortable to cuddle if we were both sacks of hangers. I like you like this,” 

“And what if I like sacks of hangers?”

“I’ve seen you ogle Rich too much to believe that,” so had Rich. He usually flexed for him when he noticed. He’d made Michael walk into at least one wall that way.

“I-I can like both!” he really was so cute when he was flustered, it made Jeremy wish it happened more.

“You can, that doesn’t mean you do,” Jeremy grinned that little shit grin of his and Michael lit up at the sight of it- a handsome, dorky grin stretching across his face and a mischievous twinkle in his eye

“Well I’m sorry we can’t all get off on sexy catgirls,  _ Jeremiah _ ,”

“Um, excuse me Michael! Did you or did you not once tell me that you would fuck a werewolf, zero hesitation?”

“Werewolves are human sometimes,"

“Coward,"

“Furry,"

They grinned at each other, any previous worries completely washed away in that moment.

“I really do like sacks of hangers, though,”

“Shut up, Micah,” Jeremy pushed his stupid handsome best friend’s face away

**Author's Note:**

> jeremy, a known heterosexual,


End file.
